The things she says!

Lately Ava has been saying hilarious things that really make me laugh a lot.  She has also been having some behavior issues that make me want to cry a lot!  Since I hope to forget some of the struggles we have been having and no hold them against her, I wanted to write down some of the funny conversations we have been having!  Since I write this blog for myself and my mom, it's the perfect place to record them!

After spending hours of the day in time out for many behavior issues, I asked Ava was she learned.  Her response "well, I learned to be nice to  my friends.  I also learned that you shouldn't trick people.  Like if I say that I am going to take someone to the theatre, and then I don't take them to the theatre, it wouldn't be very nice."  Seriously, I think I must be doing an amazing job of teaching her life lessons!

Ava loves Spanish!  During a prayer in Guatemala she prayed "Thank you God so much for making Guatemala and for Spanish because I love it."

In a conversation with my sister about a song she learned that was partly in Spanish and partly in English, Ava said "I will sing this song partly in Spanish and partly in the language that you and Brandon speak."

After being the flower girl in Catherine's wedding Ava says "So, everyone was telling me how beautiful I looked...me and Catherine looked so beautiful together...but she did have the better dress though."

We have been having attitude issues and so I told Ava she needed to work on being more respectful to me and talking more kindly to me.  She said "MOM!  God made everyone different and made us all feel different things and I just feel mad right now...it's just the way God made me!"  Oh dear Ava...many converstation followed this statement. 

While in Ohio, she was upset about something and her Aunt asked her to sing "If your happy and you know it" to distract her from being upset.  She agreed and after a while, I noticed she wasn't doing any of the motions like "if your happy and you know it, clap your hands..."  I asked "Ava why aren't you clapping your hands?"  She responded "Well mom, I am not happy.  I can't clap my hands if I am not happy.  It would be a lie." 

My dearest Ava....one day when you have grown up and are using all your energy and passion to love the world around you, I pray that we will laugh at all these funny conversations and remember what it takes for God to refine us.  I also pray that we will know how to best lead you toward the love of Christ and into a relationship with him that transforms your heart.  You are truly a delight...even if you spend half your life in time-out right now!

All things new...

For the last 5 years Caleb and I have lived with our kids in a two bedroom, 1 bathroom house.  I was pregnant with Ava when we bought this house and we thought it would be a good house for about 5 years.  We figured after 5 years, we would outgrow it.  Who would have known that after 2 years, Anniiyah and Makayla would come to be a part of our family for a while?!  Our house felt really small during that season with all three girls sharing 1 room (and did I mention we don't have closets...we have 1 half closet)...but it worked.  I won't go into detail about the creativity needed when three small people all need to go to the bathroom at the same time and you only have 1 toilet.  We have put a lot of offers on houses over the years.  We have tried to buy houses in our neighborhood, our friends neighborhoods, random neighborhoods close to ours, etc.  We have only ever been slightly motivated to get another house (which meant putting really low-ball offers on houses) because we really didn't know what neighborhood made the most sense for us to stay in.  This year though, we have felt GREAT about staying in Pittsburgh.  We know that this is our home.  I am not saying that nothing could or will change, but at this point, we are here and and we love our community.  We realized that where we lived was more important to us at this point than what we lived in (but please don't get me wrong, we wanted more space! We just wanted to be wise about where we looked).  So, we waited.  About 2 months ago we put an offer on a house only a few houses away from ours, but the process was taking forever.  About a week after we submitted an offer, we found another house about 4 blocks away from our current house.    It took me a lot to want to even think about moving away from our current neighbors on Coleman St!  I LOVE my street.  I felt a strong pull though from God through prayer to consider other options for houses in our neighborhood.  We decided to put an offer on the house that was 4 blocks away and we prayed for peace in where God was leading us to move.  Long story short, we got rejected from the house I really wanted.  I was incredibly sad and didn't understand.  I tend to get overly excited about things, and in my head I had already started dreaming and planning for this house.  Shaqwanda had talked about having a room in this house where she could live and work on homework while she works to finish senior year.  I was already planning the block parties we could have, the new neighbors we would meet, the guests that could stay with us, the babies we would now have room for, and a lot of other things that would allow us to share life with the people we love.  We continued to pray for wisdom and I kept telling Caleb that I was holding out hope that something was going to change.  I got a call from our realtor a week ago saying that the deal fell through and she asked if we still wanted the house.  YES!!!!  And so I calmly said "I think that would be good."  Our offer was accepted on Wednesday of this week and we are now moving toward closing in a couple weeks.  Something that seemed to drag out for forever is now actually happening!  Wednesday night we always have dinner with our neighbors.  We have been doing this for a year now and I look forward to Wednesday night every week.  This week was really special for me because we all got up from dinner and walked over to our new house together.  Everyone was excited with us and I am glad we got to share our joy with so many people that we love so much.  I am thankful for this new house but I don't want to forget the joy that our Coleman Street house has been for us.  Regardless of space, so much life has been lived in this house.  We have brought home our babies to this house, we have spent most of our marriage in this house, we have met and gotten to know the most important people in our lives, in this house.  We have played hundreds of games of Elimination in THIS kitchen.  We have eaten countless meals with WAY too many people sitting in THIS dining room.  We have worn down the carpet with all our clothes always being on the floor in THIS bedroom.  Every inch of this house represents a significant piece of our story and our journey.  I will always love this house.  BUT I am excited for the "new."  I start a new job on Monday.  Though it was hard to leave something that I had loved so much behind, I look toward the amazing opportunity that is up ahead...a job that I thank God for providing to me.  I don't feel like a new house was "necessary."  I do however want to be thankful to God for ordaining our steps and going before us.  I do want to trust in his plan and his purpose for our family.  I do want to use this new space to be a safe and warm place where are all welcome and a place where "family" is known and extended to anyone that wants to be part.  And to be really honest...I am super excited to have closets!

Today...

I want to remember today.  I am bad about writing things down.  I didn't used to be but somewhere over the last few years I have struggled to record my thoughts, emotions, prayers, and stories.  Today though I want to remember.  I started working with the homeless population 7 years ago when we moved to Atlanta.  I had no idea then the kind of passion that God was placing in me for serving people who are homeless.   Today began with Jay having some weird eye thing and I didn't go to work until Caleb could come home at 1:00.  I had no motivation for being at work and especially, for doing intake today.  I considered calling off because of my bad-ittude but I didn't.  I got to my office and I grabbed my first client for intake.  We do intake at my office on a first come, first serve basis.  I just grabbed the first client in order not knowing what they were coming in for.  When the young women sat down in my chair, my heart immediately felt broken for her.  She looked 15.  She was hurting.  She was scared.  She was alone.  She had come for help getting her birth certificate.  My office is the only place in the City of Atlanta that you can go for help getting a birth certificate if you don't have a picture ID already. As she started telling me her story, she shared that she had been locked out of her house during the second semester of her Senior year of high-school.  She had no where to go.  She is currently living behind a Texaco gas station.  I could feel God moving in me to care for this young woman.  I was determined to find some resource for her to get her off the streets tonight.  She sat with tears streaming down her cheeks as I spoke with a partner agency.  The shelter I was speaking with (a place specifically for homeless youth) had a waiting list with 118 people on it.  If begging is a spiritual gift, I think I have that one.  By the time we were off the phone, my new friend had a place to go.  I went with her to get her checked in.  She is now sleeping in a bed for the first time in 8 months.  I am so grateful for shelters that care for people when there is no place to go.  A shelter is not the final solution for this young  lady...but it's a step...

When I got back to my office, intake was still going.  I pulled the next client and it was an 18 year old male who had lost everything.  He was living with an Aunt and she passed away.  He was currently staying behind a library in downtown Atlanta.  His high-school was holding his diploma until he could pay for some missing books.  Not being able to get a copy of his diploma was preventing him from finding a job.  Because of some calls I had made earlier for my other client, I had another number to call for shelter.  They had space!  We finished meeting and I sent him with MARTA money to meet with the agency that was going to give him a place to stay until they could find him a more sustainable situation.  He smiled and said "I will actually get to sleep tonight."  I got a voicemail from him at 6:15 tonight saying he had made it. 

My heart feels torn on how to process today.  I felt so clearly God's movement in these two situations.  I felt Him piecing together what needed to happen and when it needed to happen.  I am joyful to see these two young people placed in the hands of agencies who have a passion for homeless youth.  I am torn because my heart is broken by our world.  I am broken over two 18 year olds who don't have an address, an emergency contact, a phone, or family to care for them.  I can't fix homelessness.  I want to commit to working hard though on a daily basis for the people that sit at my desk.  I never want to stop answering God's voice when He is so clearly directing me to do more that my job calls me to do.  I feel like I have become lax in the care I provide.  I have filled out the same paperwork, processed the same requests, and called landlords hundreds of times at this point.   I could do most of my job without even thinking.  I realized today though, that's not care.  That's not the love and passion that God placed in my heart for this work. 

I only have two more weeks of work left at the Georgia Law Center before I move on to another non-profit agency that is serving the homeless.  I feel renewed excitement and energy that this is my vocation.  This is my calling.  I will be managing 7 transitional homes.  Each home has a family in it that is transitioning out of homelessness.  The families will be in the home for up to two years and I get to be a part of their journey.  I get to walk with them as they transition out of homelessness.  I am looking forward to this new opportunity.  I want to go into this new thing with the same passion and energy that I had when I started my life in Atlanta.  I want to remember today because it's a reminder that God is present in the little things.  He is present in working out the details. Things might not get worked out every time but it doesn't mean He is any less there.  Today was also a reminder that I need to be present with people.  I need to hear each person's story, each person's struggle.  I do not want to be lax in my care for people. 

I pray for my new friends tonight.  Please join me in prayers for those who don't have a place to sleep tonight, a family to call, a place to go home to.

7 Years...

 Caleb and I celebrated 7 years of marriage on January 2nd.  We also realized that we have been in a relationship for 9 years.  I was trying to figure out how to write a blog about Caleb without being super cheesy but I don't think that I can.  I am crazy about Caleb.  He is the perfect fit for me.  He is as calm as I am crazy.  He is as slow as I am fast.  He is patient and slow to speak and slow to become angry.  I am....well, maybe we don't need to go there.  I get excited about Caleb.  I love to call him in the middle of the day because I miss hanging out with him and telling him things that I think are interesting...which might just be that I saw a cool bird or ate a good sandwich for lunch.  I love to go on crazy dates and adventures.  I love that we try and get away on a kid-less vacation every year just to be together.  I love that we talk...a lot!  I love our friendship.  We both know a side of each other that no one else knows  I want to be able to look back on this post when we have been married for 17, and 27, and 57 years (in blog book form of course) and remember the things that we have always loved about each other.  I have some pictures from our wedding and past anniversaries over the years to share. 



Wedding Day.  Huge Flowers!



Cutting our cake on our first anniversary.  Caleb looks like a baby.

Somewhere in the Smoky Mountains with Shaun and Holly on Anniversary #2.



#3 Ava was 11 days old in this picture.  We look exhausted but we went to dinner anyway.



Bucca Di Beppo for #7

2012

So yes, 2012 came.  We spent New Years in bed watching a movie and at midnight I looked at Caleb and said "Hey, wake up and give me a kiss...it's a new year."  I am ready to see what 2012 will bring.  I think I should do a high-lights of 2011 blog...it was a busy year!

New changes on the horizon are that my current job with the GA Law Center will end in March.  When I say that I LOVE my job it's an understatement.  I love working with clients to prevent their homelessness.  I love everytime a person trusts me enough to sit down with me and share their story.  I pray that I will know the right resources to point people to so that they can have the best outcome possible.  I LOVE my job.  When I took this position, it was a 30 month contracted position.  At the time I thought, "30 months is a long time!"  Well, in adult world, it turns out it's not that long!  So a new chapter of work will begin in the spring for me.  I am not sure I am ready:). 

What will 2012 look like?  I have been thinking a lot about my hopes for this year.  We sat around and talked about hopes on Wednesday night at our weekly community dinner.  I loved hearing what people are hoping for in 2012.  Off the top of my head, I shared that I wanted to read more (this was a goal I came up with on New Year's when talking with some friends).  I also realized that to do that, I will have to change some current things in my life.  That led to hope #2...Be less chaotic!  I tend to fill life up.  Each moment has a plan and if that plan falls through, there is usually a back up plan.  Please don't think that this makes me an awesome "planner."  It doesn't.  It just means that we really like people and we like to do stuff so between those two things...chaos happens.  I don't want to change this much.  I love being active and having people around and traveling and dreaming of new ideas!  I just want to have more time to be still...more time to read...more time to sit on the floor and build towers with Ava and Jay...more time to share about the day with Caleb...more time to reflex on God and what He is doing all around me. 

So, I anticipate 2012!  I anticipate lots more dinners with friends and neighbors.  I anticipate lots of dates with my husband.  I anticipate Ava learning how to read.  I anticipate Jay walking.  I anticipate seeing kids I love graduate high-school.  I anticipate talking about God and his goodness with those around me.  I anticipate a new role for work.  I anticipate more neighbors moving into Pittsburgh.  I anticipate growing in depth with friends.  I anticipate growing in my love for Jesus. 
.

Quotes from my child...

Currently, I laugh a lot about the things that pop out of Ava's mouth...I don't want to forget them, so I blog them...

After her best friend Zachary moved to a new class, we were driving to school and Ava says "Mom, I don't think I want to go to school today...I am not in the mood to make new friends today."  This was said just like a 13 year old girl would say it. 

"Oh my gosh mom, seriously!  Do you really think that shirt matches those pants." 

"Mom, I have NOTHING cute in my dresser to wear."

"Mom, you are talking loud to daddy...ok, you say "daddy, I am sorry for talking loud" and daddy you say "It's ok..no problem." 

Ava heard me giving my dad a hard time for getting old.  She said "On no mommy...pops is old?!  Does that mean he is going to heaven?!  Who would Nana live with?  That would not be good." 

Currently she also loves to tell me on a daily basis "Mommy, I have a really good idea..." Which usually ends with a visit to a friends house or a trip to Target.

I need to write them down when they happen...I already forget ones from last week!

Parenting moments...

The day each of my children came into my life is permanently etched in my mind.  I can remember each detail and the moment I held both of them for the first time.  I remember thinking about the things I was excited about for each of them...my dreams and hopes and expectations.  Ava was a very peaceful infant.  She didn't cry much...she ate, she slept, she cuddled.  She was pretty easy...until age 2.  The year from age 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 was my hardest year as a parent so far.  We struggled with attitudes, fits, complete melt downs, and tears (on both our parts).  I constantly questioned (and continue to question) what we are doing as parents and how to raise this strong-willed, confident, and opinionated child well.  This past week we had another complete child-parent melt down moment.  Ava was being incredibly selfish and I was about at the end of my rope...did I mention she had been screaming for about 20 minutes at this point?  One of those dreams I talked about is that my kids would be willing to hold their "stuff" loosely and willing to give freely...super easy, right?:)  I have noticed lately that Ava is very concerned about getting "stuff."  I know we have perpetuated this and I wanted to figure out how to end it.  I told her that she had to go home and pick something out and give it away to someone...I don't care what it is, but you have to give it away.  She said to me "Maybe I can pick out something I don't like and never use."  Wow.  Our sin nature is rough even as kids!  She was pretty mad at me and told me for the first time that I was a bad mommy.  Yikes.  After about 20 minutes she apologized and said that maybe we could start over (this is what she says when she knows she is in trouble for a bad attitude).  She went into time out and I went and prayed that I would survive until Caleb got home.  After a few minutes I went to check on her and asked what she was doing.  She told me "I am asking Jesus to come into my heart."  I asked her what she meant and then we got to talk about Jesus being the Savior of her life.  We prayed together for Jesus to forgive her of sin and for Him to be with her each day.  This will just be one moment in Ava's spiritual journey but it was a huge moment in mine.  To be able to pray with my almost 4 year old and have her aware that God loved her so much that he sent Jesus to die to take away her sin was a priceless moment.  We will keep talking.  We will keep praying...she will keep asking questions but I am grateful to get to be a part of the amazing journey she is on.  The next day she asked if she was being a good listener.  I told her yes and she said "It's because Jesus lives in my heart and I am trying to be a good listener."  My prayer for you dearest Ava...as you read this many years from now...is that you are still making decisions and looking at life through the lense of your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Girls Night...

I was super girly as a kid.  I hated to get dirty.  I would make other people put my bike chain on my bike because it was gross.  I did my hair for fun.  I wanted to shave my legs when I was 9.  I begged to get my ears pierced for a year!  I wore fake finger nails that I would bite off and then put in my desk at school (so gross and weird).  I planned out my outfits a month at a time and read incredibly girly books.  I liked boys and always had a "camp boyfriend" each summer.  One day...I guess sometime in Junior High when all things go a little cooky, I stopped.  I never wanted to shower.  I wore my hair in a wet pony tail to school every day.  I organized sporting events in the mud.  I broke up with my junior high boyfriend because I didn't want to "settle down."  I was allowed to shave my legs but decided it was all of a sudden "unnecessary."  Early high school was a great time of building confidence in who I was in Jesus and how God has made me.  Then, late high school hit and I got a boyfriend.  I let this become a huge part of my identity.  I lost so much of who I was and lost site of the things that I valued about myself.  Through a lot of prayer, this relationship ended by early college.  By mid college I was back to normal Ashlee but with a new passion to talk to girls about being free to be who they are!  When I was pregnant with Ava and we found out she was going to be a girl, I started to pray that she would know God and also have confidence in who she is as a beautiful creation of Him.  If any of you know Ava, at this point, my prayer was answered.  As a parent though, I pray that we can shape her confidence into a humble knowledge that she is made by God and that He has a great plan for her life.  This then leads me into girls night.  Like I said in the beginning...I do love girly things.  I was talking to several of the girls from our neighborhood about having a girls night.  We decided we would watch High School Musical, eat snacks, paint nails, talk about girl stuff, and play games.  I want to celebrate with them the things that make them unique as women.  The beautiful things about being a little girl that obviously go far beyond watching girl movies and doing hair/nails.  About 17 girls showed up.  We had a question box where they could write down questions.  I was not expecting the heaviness of the questions being asked.  Many we didn't read out loud because it wasn't the setting.  It was a reminder to me about how much women need each other.  How much we want to know that other people are thinking and feeling something similar to what we are thinking.  We want to know that we aren't alone.  I love girls nights.  I love the talking and sharing that comes from them.  I pray for the girls in my neighborhood.  I pray for their innocence.  I pray that we get to keep having these beautiful times together to know each other more. 

House Gatherings...

I think I have already mentioned our Wednesday night house gatherings.  I love them.  Each Wednesday night we have anywhere for 5-25 people show up at our house from our neighborhood.  It's a time for neighbors to get to know each other and come together to share a meal.  This past week we had a full house.  Our house is not so big.  The three rooms of living space that we have max out pretty quickly.  We also aren't very clean people so Ava and Jay's room/playroom was a disaster!  There was an extra mattress on the floor, toys everywhere, and about 8 kids.  But, the beautiful part is that they didn't care...no one cared about the lack of space or mess of dishes or that we ran out of dishes and started using kids plates.  We were all just there...present...a part of the conversation.  I loved watching our older neighbors interact and encourage the teenagers.  I laughed listening to Shaqwanda (who I met during my first month in Atlanta during Mission Year) "jones" with Angleo, our friend that often stops by to chat, grab a snack, and keep an eye on things for us.  I loved hearing Ms. Betty passionately share from her heart of her experiences with faith and church and how God is so personal and real to her.  I REALLY loved that Karim made us all buffalo chicken tenders!  They were incredible.  I love that Annia and I get to cook together every Wednesday night.  I share these things to remember them.  Many times I have been discouraged that we bought our house right before the housing market crashed.  I have wanted more space to be able to host gatherings of people.  I have wanted more space for people to be able to have a place to stay if they needed it.  This week has been a good reminder to me that this space that we do have, can still be used.  We prayed the first night that we moved into this house that we would see it not as "our" house, but as an open place where people could gather.  I guess that's still my prayer. 

Solitude and My Life...

Last weekend I was able to attend the Mission Year solitude retreat with our team.  I was looking forward to this time because I rarely have moments alone.  In my head I know that solitude is important for all people and that includes me and my somewhat extroverted self (hehe).  The problem is that I don't make time for it.  We have some really great things going on in life right now and I am excited about all those things so I just keep going.  I don't stop, I don't reflect.  Don't get me wrong...I am thinking ALL THE TIME!  Caleb and I have a joke that I am always thinking and processing and analyzing and dreaming about something.   He on the other hand can be still...both in body and in mind.  We also read The Way of the Heart this past month by Henry Nouwen.  He says the following:
"In order to understand the meaning of solitude, we must first unmask the way in which the idea of solitude has been distorted by our world.  We say to each other that we need some solitude in our lives.  What we are really thinking of, however, is a time and place for ourselves in which we are not bothered by other people, can think our own thoughts, express our own complaints, and do our own thing, whatever it may be.  For us, solitude most often means privacy."
I realized that this was very much my idea of what I wanted out of solitude...just moments alone.  He goes on to talk about solitude being vulnerability...a nakedness before God.  He says,
"In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: No friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me-naked,vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken-nothing."
It hit me so clearly my need for this.  I desire quiet time with the Lord but most often this is done around something else...squeezed in among the business of life.  My heart longs to love the people around me.  I feel a burden to love and be loved.  I am filling my schedule not with things but with people.  Nouwen then draws us back to what he calls "The compassionate ministry."  Thomas Merton describes a group of monks who spent much time in isolation in the following way as he describes there quest not to drown in the sinking ship of their society:
"They knew they were helpless to do any good for otherse as long as they floundered about in the wreckage.  But once they got a foothold on solid ground, things were different.  Then they had not only the power but even the obligation to pull the whole world to safety after them." 
My mind was drawn to line...On Christ the solid rock I stand!  As much as I love to be engaged with friends, neighbors, family, co-workers, etc, I will drown without Jesus.  The people I love with drown without Jesus.  I want to know more of Him, I want to share more about Him, and I want to see Him more through those in my life.  Since I so easily forget the lessons God is teaching me and so easily start to flounder, I wanted to get these things written down...

Fall in Atlanta!

It's finally fall in Atlanta.  It's my favorite time of year.  Pretty much October 1 through January 2 is full of more exciting things than I could even name...apple picking, pumpkin patches, my kids birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our 7 year anniversary (and much more!).  The fall is a time that it's so clear in nature how much life is changing and evolving.  The leaves and their beautiful colors remind me of God's hand in the natural order of how things are supposed to change!  Watching my kids this year has been amazing.  Ava has always amazed me with her crazy personality and funny sayings.  At almost 4, she doesn't change as much physically but she comes up with something new everyday that she is learning.  Today she said "Mommy, aren't you so glad to have me around to help with Jay?  What would you do without me?"  She also said yesterday with as much attitude as a teenager "Mommy, this is hte only cute shirt I could find in my drawer to put on!"  Jay on the other hand is constantly changing physically.  He has outgrown most of his clothes and now he crawls, pulls up on things, and walks around holding on to anything he can find.  He may be the happiest little guy ever and always greets us with lots of smiles.  For Caleb and I, we feel like we are on the cusp of change.  We are ready for God to move us in one direction or another.  We have been looking for a new church home for several weeks.  We continue to pray for wisdom but often feel lost in finding answers.  We attended Trinity this past weekend and heard a GREAT sermon from Kris.  It made me miss having a church that we call "home."  He talked about the Gospel of Sin Management.  If we correct our behaviors and sins then we will find favor with God and He will pat us on the head and say "good job."  This is pretty much the opposite of the true gospel...a gospel that says "you can't earn my love, because I love you inspite of your sin!"  I think sometimes I spend so much time figuring out what is the next step for us, where we need to serve, how to correct my often pitiful attitude, etc.  These things are important at times, but they are not what God is desiring for me and they aren't why Jesus died.  He died to forgive sins and give us life abundently.  I want to live in light of this promise.  I want to seak to serve my heavenly Father and from that have a life that pours out service to others.  So, as much as I am still struggling with the unknowns and the inevitable changes ahead, the pressure is off to find the perfect solution.  I serve a God who freely gives Grace...even (and especially) when we have no idea what we are doing! 
In other news...One of our first neighbors we met during Mission Year moved in across the street from us a few weeks ago.  Anne and her family were like family to us and even though it's been several years since we were all involved in each others lives, it feels so familiar to have her living close again and I am so grateful.  We head to Indianapolis this weekend to the Christian Community Development Association Conference.  I am super excited to spend time with the other Mission Year staff, hear some great teaching, spend time with Caleb, and dream a little bit about what we want this next year to look like.  I leave you with pics from the last month or so!

 Anniiyah, Makayla and Ava have all gotten HUGE!

 Karim Graduated from High School!

 We got to go on a double date with the Henley's.

 Ava has been LOVING dance class!

 Andra took a family picture for us that included Jay

 All 11.5 of us went to the Pig restaurant!

 Ava and Christopher had an AWESOME time at sweetwater!

 This is the classic Jay face!

I can't help but be excited...

This week we welcomed two new couples to Atlanta for a year of Mission Year married.  We also celebrated 6 years of being in Atlanta with Steve, Becca, Drew and Diane this week.  Last night at the opening dinner I shared what I was excited about for this year.  I said something off the top of my head but I started thinking about it more once I left the opening dinner.  What AM I excited about for this team?  I am excited for a year to watch them become a community.  As I set with my Mission Year team this week sharing stories and laughing about our year, I can't help but think about how much work it took for us to become a community!  But now...6 years later, we sit with our 5 (almost 6) kids sleeping soundly and we are as comfortable with each other as we could be.  I am excited for them to get to know their neighborhood and neighbors.  I drove through my Mission Year neighborhood this week and had to stop three times to get out of my car and hug people that I have known since I lived in Atlanta (I LOVE Atlanta).  I am excited for them to use public transit!  I learned a lot while sitting on a bus.  I am excited for them to stay up late playing games and laughing together.  I am excited for them to read books that will challenge them and cause them to ask questions about the world around them.  I am excited for them learn how to live with less (which includes grocery shopping on a very small budget).  I know that I am an easily excited person, but seriously, this is good stuff!  More than anything though, I am excited to see Jesus come alive in them as they live out this call to love and be loved...to serve and be served...to listen and learn.  I am excited to see them cling to a Saviour who cares more about their neighborhood and injustice than they ever could.  We leave tomorrow morning for Orientation in Chicago.  This is the beginning of what will be a really exciting year!  I feel blessed to be part of it all!

Dear Friends...

One thing you don't want to hear at 1:30 am is "Mommy-Daddy...I had an accident."  So I am still awake after cleaning up a pretty sweet mess.  I am struggling to sleep tonight.  I lay awake thinking, processing, and praying.  I am asking questions that have no answers...
Over a year ago our great friends Drew and Diane introduced us to Adam and Becca.  They had been working in Atlanta through a ministry and wanted to move into downtown and live incarnationally in a neighborhood close ours.  They didn't know exactly where yet, but we were totally praying it would be close to us.  You see...they are awesome.  They have an incredible heart for God and for people.  They also have a spunky-sweet-full-of-personality 2 year old that hit it off with Ava immediately.  This past winter, they started working on their new house which amazingly enough is about 2 minutes from our house (and if it's less than 90 degrees I could totally walk).  We have loved having them so close and have been so encouraged by their heart for the neighborhood, Jesus, and how they love and are loved by those around them.  After a LONG journey they were able to close on their house last week in time to have their new baby son Caden.  When Caden was born, they found something wrong with his heart.  You can read their blog for more details Stanley Blog.  Our hearts ache for our friends as they go through this unthinkable--scary--time.  I find myself praying constantly and bring distracted all the time thinking of them and their sweet boy.  This week in my girls bible study we were studying Daniel and the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  I was so challenged by my own faith as I read this story.  They were told to worship other Gods and their response was “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter.  If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.  But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”  Do I trust that God can deliver us from the fire?  I am praying with faith that God can heal Caden.  He is the same God that rescued these men from the fiery furnace and performed miracle after miracle.  Please join me in praying for my friends.   I pray to the one and only God-the Healer, Redeemer, Savior, Restorer.  I pray for faith as I wrestle with questions that can't be answered.  I am so grateful that I serve a personal God who loves people 100x more than I ever could.         

Hot time, summer in the city...

We have had an incredible summer so far!  We have made many trips, had lots of visitors, enjoyed fun summer things in the ATL.  We have celebrated with friends who have gotten engaged, started new life adventures, gotten pregnant, and had babies.  

This past weekend we were able to drive up to Caleb's parents house in East Liverpool, OH for a long weekend.  It was a 14 hour drive there and 14 hour drive back.  I think the kids handled it better than I did.  Every time we make a trip to the midwest and back there is a little part of me that thinks "why do we live so far away?"  I think that part of me thought that 1) this would all just get easier after a few years or 2) we would end up moving back to the midwest to be close to family.  Well, neither of those things have happened and honestly, I don't forsee either of them happening.  We are at peace with our decision to be in Atlanta.  God has given both Caleb and I jobs that we love and a depth with our community that we could have never imagined.  Some days are harder than others but most of the time, I can't imagine being anywhere else.  

Ava continues to make me laugh everyday.  Her most recent hilarious thing is playing bop-it.  Her record now is 26 in a row, which I think is impressive for a 3 year old.  She has also memorized what the bop-it man says and will repeat things like "Is this your first time playing bop-it, you're out."   She also watched Mary Poppins over the weekend and sings the chimney sweep song and A Spoon Full of Sugar repeatedly.  We plan to put her in dance class this fall and I am sure she will love every minute.  Today she asked me "mom, wouldn't it be silly if Cinderella met Mary Poppins?"  Yes, it would. 

We are also looking with much anticipation toward friends moving into Pittsburgh!  Yes, that's right...more people in Pittsburgh!  Our street is incredible and our neighbors are awesome and I look forward to my Coleman St. neighbors being able to all welcome our new friends to the neighborhood.  We have longed for more community in Pittsburgh and the thought of other believers being so close is more exciting than I can express!  Pittsburgh has become even more empty in the 4 years we have been there and it's so neat to see God move in others hearts to want to move in!

Here are some pics of our trip to East Liverpool.  Enjoy.

Jay and Ava shared a little bath time.

The Starr family at the wharf.

Boys hanging out...Jay is so big now!

 

 Who doesn't love some chili cheese fries from the hot dog shop!

Such a happy guys!  and he loves his sister!

Paddle boat ride.

How funny is it to put a baby in a life vest?!

Hanging out with grandpa!

Time with grandma before we boarded our paddle boats.

Hilton Head 2011

 

Since I discovered that I can turn my blog into a book at the end of the year, I am going to blog a whole lot more! This years annual beach trip included the Henleys and the Niederfringers. It was a great time. 11 people, 2 bedroom condo, too many trips to the beach where kids were covered in sand, yummy food, great fellowship, limited melt-downs, SOOO much sunscreen, wonderful bike rides, sand castles, naps, and Sequence. We love Hilton head.

 

6 months...give or take a couple weeks.

 We finally had Jay's 6 month doctor appointment.  Our "little guy" is 19 lbs and 28 inches long!  In case you are wondering...that's a pretty big kid.  He is so happy and has been eating a lot of different food already.  Here is a good picture of him and his happy self. 






 

Jay's Dedication

Here is a picture from Jay's dedication. We also wrote a letter to him that I am going to share here because then it's somewhere that I can't lose it when one day, I want him to read it:)! Also, it will help all the family from back home feel a little like they got to be a part of the dedication.

Jay,
We want to celebrate today the miracle and gift God has given us in you. We want to dedicate you to Lord knowing that He is the giver of life and it is He that has entrusted you to us for a short time. You come into this world helpless, in need of care and love and protection. But we, as your parents, commit to so much more than that. We commit you to the Lord and we commit ourselves to bringing you up with a love and reverence for Him and also to have a deep love for people.
We named you Jay after your mommy’s grandpa. He was a man of God who loved life and loved those around him. He was joyful and always had a song to sing and a joke to tell. He was generous and kind, giving to anyone that needed anything. He was wonderful husband and father and though you will never meet him, we want you to know the meaning behind the name we have given you.
Your mother and I are very different but one common characteristic is our heart for people. We want our children to also have a heart that longs to love people. God has a heart that never gives up but always works to make beautiful and make whole that which is broken and lost….a redeeming heart. This is why we chose Redeem as your middle name. We have been redeemed by the blood of Christ and want our children to also know that our Redeemer lives and He can redeem that which is broken and lost.
We are so thankful for you dearest Jay. Your life so far has been filled with smiles and cuddles and happiness around your big sister. You are loved by your heavenly father and you are loved by us. You are also loved by a wonderful community of friends and believers who are here today to hold us accountable teaching you about our God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Our prayer is that you will know Him and desire to serve him as you grow into a man. We are glad you are our son! Love, Mom and Dad

The Call...Our Mission Year Story.

It was 6 years ago this week (give or take few days) that I got a call from the Mission Year recruiting department. "Hey Ashlee, just wanted to let you and Caleb know that you are accepted for Mission Year in the fall and we are excited to have you guys in Atlanta." Excitement, panic, joy-emotions filled my head and heart. We were really going to do it. We had decided that if they accepted us, we were headed to Atlanta. I called Caleb and we immediately began preparations (such great planners we are!).

p.s. (R)This was the picture I sent with my MY application. I guess I was REALLY enthusiastic (and liked hot pink?) Somehow, they still accepted us:) The other picture is our last night in our K-town apartment eating cereal out of anything we could find.

It all started during a spring break trip to Atlanta. We connected with the Mission Year married team who was living on Atlanta's Westside. They shared their hearts with us and told us about their year of serving. We got to meet Leroy Barber who came to their apartment, bought us pizza, and got me hooked on this idea of taking a year of my life (and my husband's life) to live intentionally, love Jesus, and love the people around me. Sounded simple, right?:). After MANY conversations, Caleb and I were sure that this was what we had been looking for. We knew we loved the City, we felt called to serve the poor, and we loved Jesus a lot. When else were we going to have the chance to give away all our stuff (for some reason I guess we weren't thinking we might actually NEED "stuff" when we got done with Mission Year), quit our jobs, and move to a new place to serve alongside people with similar hearts for ministry?

Our next call...this time it was Jeff Delp (one of our City Directors) telling us that he had found the house we were going to live in. "Excuse me, 1 house...for all three couples?" I guess they had decided to "try out" putting the married teams in one house. I am now more grateful for that call than I could describe. Our time of intentional community produced 4 of the most amazing friendships we have ever known.

And then there was the call to my parents..."Mom and Dad, as it would turn out, we love it here and really feel like God is calling us to stay in Atlanta." It only took one year for us to realize that this was home.

We now get to serve with Mission Year in the role of Mission Year married City Directors. We could not be more excited to see teams arrive this fall and watch them begin a journey that so deeply impacted the direction of our lives. Not everyone stays in the city and that is totally fine but no matter where you go after, life will be different. We are different because of a decision we made to take a year away from everything we knew and trust that God had a plan for us.

Grateful..

It's 2 am. Our house is very still and quiet as Caleb and the kids are soundly asleep in their beds. I am so grateful for all three of them. Caleb has a quiet strength that I could not begin to express. He encourages me every day with his patience and his desire to love me in the ways that I best understand love. I knew 8 years ago that I loved this man. I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him but I don't think I had a clue of how incredible God's design of marriage really could be. Easy all the time? Not even close, but so rich and full of beauty and Grace and forgiveness. I am grateful for Caleb. And then there is Ava...Oh my little spunky, full of personality little girl. Each day, she amazes me at her words and her thoughts and how she is starting to see the world. She makes me laugh more than any 1 person ever has. She is more social than I would have thought possible at age three. Each day as we get out of the car she will say to ANY child walking down the street (even if we don't know them) "want to come over to my house?" She wants hugs and kisses al the time and will say to me anytime I leave the house "I love you so much!" I am grateful for Ava. And now we have Jay. He has been a bundle of cuddles and smiles. He also LOVES people (specifically me right now). If you look at him, talk to him, pick him up, or waive a toy in his face...he immediately starts to move his whole body in one huge movement. He started laughing at Ava, who gets up in his face and says "Hi baby...it's your big sister" in the squeakiest-highest pitched voice you could imagine. I am grateful for Jay. I am grateful for our community in Atlanta and the friends that God has placed around us here. As we continue to pray for direction about where God is leading us, I don't want to ever stop being grateful for these things. It doesn't mean that I achieve an attitude of being grateful all the time, but it's my prayer that as I read back through these thoughts, they can be a reminder to me.

Life with 2...

Jay is three months old. I can hardly believe it. The transition to two kids has been pretty easy. We did 1 and then 3 and now 2. A little out of order, but we did feel pretty prepared for some additional craziness. Tonight we have the girls and I was even more reminded of how different life is with lots of kids. To be honest, I kind of love the crazy. All three girls are sleeping on the floor in Ava's room and they all look so sweet. Hard to believe that only an hour ago we were reeking havoc on a Zaxby's. Ava has been super funny lately. She has fits that drive me but then she says hilarious things. Yesterday she said "Mommy, maybe when I throw a fit or cry, you could just pray for me." Oh darling, if you only knew how much mommy prays for your fits! I am back to work a few days a week and really loving my time back. I know the kids are well cared for and I get to do something I love.

Jay has been an incredibly happy baby. I feel like his whole body smiles when he smiles. We are still working on the whole "sleeping at night thing" but it's so easy the rest of the time, that I don't really care.

We got to take a trip to Disney World with mom and dad which was awesome. Our friend, Mike Fitz from HC, showed us around Magic Kingdom for the day and we had a blast. My favorite Ava moment was right after she got off the roller coaster and said "That was crazy...that roller coaster made my tummy feel better."

Right now we are in the midst of participating in lent. We each have chosen things to give up in order to focus more on Christ during this season. I am praying that during this season, we will continue to have more clarity about what God is doing in our family and that he would direct us toward what he would have for the future.

Here are some pictures from the last few weeks...